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A Kinky New Beginning

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Tragedy of Loss (Thursday Taster #3)


Thanks for stopping by for my Thursday Taster offering for this week. It is a snippet from a tricky part of my WiP (Diamond in the rough). I would appreciate some feedback too. Thank you.
***

Tragedy of Loss
By
Don Abdul

Ahmad smiled throughout the ride back to his hotel. He was lost in his own little world, a magical landscape where he and Diamond’s fantasies were also their reality.

The breaking news broadcast on the car radio and the light banter of the cab driver were just distant hum drums in the background of his consciousness. He paid no attention, save for the occasional polite grunt acknowledging something the cab driver might have said.

‘I honestly couldn’t remember ever being as happy as I am at this moment...’

Oblivious to their arrival until the cab stopped in front of the hotel, Ahmad got out and paid the driver, tipping him generously too.

“Hello Jack,” he cheerfully greeted as he approached the doorman with an extra spring in his every step.

“Good afternoon Mr. El-Jaffar.”

Jack the doorman greeted Ahmad with the usual deference, but also the extra warmth reserved for those guests that bothered to remember the names of the staff.

As he walked into the lobby, he found the hotel manager waiting to greet him.

‘Who stole his smile?’ Ahmad wondered upon noticing the absence of a smile on the usually cheerful hotel manager’s face.

“Welcome back Mr. El-Jaffar, might we please talk in my office...”

Suddenly the music went silent in Ahmad’s mind.

“Talk in your office...? Is there a problem...? What do we have to talk about?” He asked with furrows of worry wrinkling his browns.

“I’m sorry sir, but it’s a delicate matter of a rather private nature.”

The manager hurried on into his office before Ahmad could ask another question. Once inside the office, Ahmad’s curiosity turned to alarm.

The three men who rose up to greet him were his compatriots, and in fact he knew one of them, Fareed Abdullah quite well.

While Ahmad recognized the second man as Rashid Ibrahim, his country’s Consul General in Boston, he had no idea whom the third man was.
As Fareed stepped forward to greet Ahmad, the Breaking News Tune played out on the TV and a blanket of silence descended upon the room. Ahmad scanned the faces around him for answers but it was only when the voice of the TV news anchor filled the void that he got any.

“...and now we bring you the profile of the “deceased patriarch of the El-Jaffar clan.”

That phrase in the news item penetrated the foggy cloud of Ahmad’s ignorance with the vengeance of a sharp knife through the soft underbelly of a cornered animal. His mouth opened as his eyes widened, yet no sound came forth to herald the excruciating agony that tore his heart to shreds.

***

Please spare a moment to read Tasters by my very talented author friends as well:


Naomi Shaw: http://www.authornaomishaw.com

Alexandra Anthony: http://alexandraanthony.wordpress.com

Cree Walker: http://www.creewalker.com

Decadent Kane (Summer): www.decadentkane.blogspot.com

Dianne Hartsock: http://diannehartsock.wordpress.com/my-blog/

Mangus Khan http://maddeningwhispers.blogspot.com

Brantwijn Serrah: http://brantwijn.blogspot.com/

Faberge Nostromo: http://fabergenostromo.blogspot.co.uk

Pablo Michaels: http://www.pmmanmanromance.com/

Jake Malden: http://jakemalden.blogspot.com/






12 comments:

  1. Ohhhh! Love it. Where's Diamond? I hate that his father died. So what will this mean for Diamond?? It's not polite to torcher people like that Don Abdul! You do not play fair.

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    1. Wouldn't you just like to know Gynger :D
      Seriously though, all will be revealed in due course. Meanwhile, watch this space for more juicy snippets :)

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  2. There's more to Ahmed than meets the eye. I have to know more. Great taster

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    1. Oh yes Naomi, there certainly more to him than meets the eye. Like an onion, when you peel away a layer another is revealed. Watch this space...

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  3. So intriguing! Excellent job of running us through his emotions: happiness, confusion, pain. And the suddenness of his father's death. There's a lot going on and you've set it up nicely for the next scene. Very well done.

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    1. Thanks for the indepth feedback Dianne... Judging by your observation, I'd say I achieved my objective for the Chapter. Thank you :D

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  4. This excerpt was extremely well done. He initially reacts to his father's death in a state of disbelief yet is thrown into a state of shock when he listens tpo what the news reports are. Where is Diamond? Who is the oither man waiting with the two others he knows?

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    1. Where is Diamond, Mmmm... This seems to be the big question. Following closely on the heels of the first question is the identity of the third man, who is he? Well my friend, all I can say for now is that all would be revealed in good time. Come back and read the next instalment and you will definitely get some answers...

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    2. What can I say, my friends like me like that ;)

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  5. The reveal was perfectly set up. It really got me in the pit of my gut. Wonderful job.

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    1. Thanks for the thumbs up Serrah. That means the mission for that chapter was accomplished :D

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